My Newly Found Wisdoms

Yes folks, I've been learning the hard lessons and I'm now back to square one, at the crossroads once again. I realized that I have never described clearly what I truly want from a job. I think it's a good idea if I could remind myself by writing these down.

So these few days, I've been thinking why I wasn't happy previously and what are the things that I really want to do. I came down to these three conclusions. Hopefully with this, I've answered my own questions in this post.

My newly found wisdoms:

1. I want a job that allows me the freedom of setting my own small goals to achieve bigger goals for the company. With only the necessary and appropriate guidance and I also like the idea of accomplishing things without having to wait for someone else to make decisions.

Lessons learned from:
The experience these past two months. I've been trying and trying and trying but felt no control over when I can accomplish my tasks. It was very frustating and it didn't worth it. I'm good at project management, but not until i know the small things that I should do to be able to see the big picture. All I need was time. Apparently the fire has long died with the resentment from the very beginning, it is a good thing to be out and I can pretend no more. It's time to play up to my strengths in the right way.

2. I want a job that allows me to have time for myself during weekends (instead of bringing work home, argh terrible) even during weekdays with no over time (have the time to invest on my own education) and I can still earn decent bucks to pay the bill and loan.

When I mean decent, I'm quite realistic with the pay and amount of workload and pressure. Nothing ventured nothing gained. So a trade-off is inevitable.

A. Less stress, a bit lower pay OR
B. Huge stress: until you feel like breaking down or cry everyday after work or feel like your spirit is being sucked out of you, your confidence is gone and you hate MONDAYS the most. It is not worth all the pain and sleepless nights.

What does it tell you if you wake up everyday feeling frightened and de-motivated? What do you call that? Is it called being stupid and persistent over something you hate doing? The first rationale was "to gain new skill that I know I'll hate but hoping that after I gain the skill I'll grow to love doing it" e.g.: coldcalling. It's true that I don't dread doing coldcall anymore, but given the choice, would I want to use it ? Let's say that after having the ability to do it reasonably well, would I want to do what I hate on a daily basis? I know people say about persistence, never-give-up attitude and yadda yadda yadda...but how about if it is just NOT your cup of tea? Will persistence and perseverance be enough? Would you want to compromise your happiness? Pretend that everything's OK? How far can you stand it?

How about you? What would you feel? miserable or satisfied for conquering another fear?

3. I want a job that allows me to play up to my strengths

Despite having been assuming all sort of things that you'll like as a job, you will never know until you're there. You'll know instantly whether you're swimming in a damp dirty mud or the clear blue sea of opportunities and personal growths. You can immediately tell the difference in your first WEEK. Or if you master the art of spotting the right job for you, you can tell in your first interview...

I made my mistakes by assuming too many things and think that perseverance and determination are enough for me to get by. I WAS WRONG!! I didn't take into account the utmost important factors: my own happiness and self-satisfaction. I didn't stand up for my rights to have the satisfaction over accomplishing things because I'm good at it. I was busy looking for other skills and abandoning my own existing strengths. It's time to play up to my strengths!! I'd like to list them down to remind myself whenever I feel like losing confidence.

- I'm good at project management.

ex: I was the editor of IndoNTU yearbook for two years before taking up the position as chair. I knew how things work, how each functions work with one another, who were the people suitable for the job and thus, I could manage the team, if I have to take up the role right away, I won't be able to do it. Though I should say I was not the perfect chair, I could feel the satisfaction after accomplishing the project. It was exhilarating.

- I'm good at picking up new language skill. All I need is the right kind of exposure, be it movies, songs, TV series or language course. I'm stoked whenever I learn new words.

Sadly, I haven't done any justice to this love affair, I've been making excuses for not continuing or exposing myself again to these languages. I need to fix this so badly and I need the time and $$$ to do this. I will make my fourth birthday wish comes true...*fingers crossed

Since graduation, I am inspired to be a language teacher who can teach English to adults anywhere (need CELTA for this...must collect the $$$ first...)

-I can multitask only after I know how everything works (the big picture) and their relations to each other. If not, I'll usually feel lost and distracted due to the tendency of thinking ahead too much (sometimes good and bad at the same time).

-They said (perceived by others), I have a good writing style and grammar.

-They said (perceived by others), I am a very organized person.

-They said (perceived by others), I am an independent and dependable person.

(will add more later...)

Now folks, that's all for today. Let me have my lunch, enjoy my break and drowning myself into the job seeker's routines (check jobportals, chat with friends, check company's website, check industry events, prepare customized resumes, read books, go out there and talk to people!!!!!*important)

Cheers,

Sien

Be happy!!